The Cancer I Walked Away From…

At first, I called it curiosity. After all, I had always secretly wanted to be a private investigator after reading one too many mystery novels. Looking up certain people on Facebook, I even reasoned to myself, was done out of my concern for them.

However, this curiosity soon made a dangerous turn down a path leading to the comparison trap. Facebook photos of perfect white smiles, exotic vacations, an amazing wardrobe, and flawless skin made me cringe. Suddenly, my “innocent curiosity” turned into the overwhelming need to compete with this perfect face on Facebook. I am ashamed to admit that, sadly, it became a habit for me to look at her page in order for me to tally our current score.

If her skin was flawless and mine was not, I obviously lost that battle and the self-loathing began.

If her wardrobe was amazing, suddenly mine looked terrible, and again I had to give that point to her.

If she gained a couple pounds, I secretly rejoiced because I finally found a weakness I could exploit in our imaginary competition. Score one for me.

Curiosity and concern suddenly turned into fierce completion and comparison where no one could win… except Satan himself.

“A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
    jealousy is like cancer in the bones”
~ Proverbs 14:30

This competition became an addiction, perhaps fueled by my need for approval. Even though I knew how unhealthy it was for me to play this dangerous game of comparison, I could not stop. I always felt the need to check on the competition to see how “I” was doing.

One day I realized that comparison was eating away at me like cancer in the bones …

Read the full post here at Laura Rath’s site for how I walked away from this cancer.

  • anna {}

    Oh friend, how TRUE is this for SO many of us!! I used to visit my husbands ex-girlfriends Facebook page to compare. Who does that?! Grateful – as always – for your honesty and transparency that lets so many of us know that we’re not alone.

  • Missy

    Melanie, what a truth this is. Comparisons are exactly like a cancer that eats away at us until we are a shell of ourselves. I love how you shared your heart so honestly here. Visiting from Better Blogs and so glad I did!

  • Olivia Brant

    Melanie, this is something the Lord has been speaking to me about this past week and it’s no accident that I’ve come across it via Better Blogs. Thank you for writing so honestly! -Liv